01/02/01:
Could Somebody Tell Me Exactly Where This
Year Went?
Some how, some way, I awoke
on my friend's couch Monday morning and
discovered that 2000 was over. Does anybody
have a clue where the hell it went, 'cause
I sure don't.
Regular visitors to this site
know that I was a bit lax in updating this
column over the last twelve months. And
believe me, I've got plenty of excuses.
The first and worst is that old tried and
true burn-out. I spent the first five months
of 2000 working for a totally insane company
run by a totally insane person. Luckily,
I saw the writing on the wall, started scoping
out a job before my paychecks started bouncing,
and was able to walk out when I'd had enough
of being screwed, shafted, and lied to.
Unfortunately, it's taken
a good six to seven more months to shake
off the experience, settle into my new (close
to home) gig, and feel like a human being
again. And by the time that happened, I
was waking up in 2001! Whew.
As far as junk culture goes,
2000 was a banner year. We had SURVIVOR-
and MILLIONAIRE-mania, culminating with
watching the new John Cleese-like Richard
Hatch co-hosting tv shows and getting his
ass kicked by the WWF's Chyna on the least
funny 'MTV Video Music Awards' of all-time.
Question...whose idea was it to let the
untalented Wayans brothers host?
Then there was the election,
the jokes, Internet cartoons, and more references
to the word "chad" than I ever
want to hear again. In the end, the guy
who won the popular vote went home, and
the guy who squeked by in the state governed
by his brother ascended to the role of most
powerful man in the free world. His first
job? Name as many of his dad's cronies to
key positions – starting with veep
– as possible, sit back and figure
out how not to become the next Dan Quayle!
Trust me. The next four years
are gonna be one wild ride. And after the
abuse Clinton took from the Republicans
for eight years, I hope they come out blasting
and let W have with both barrels! It'll
make for good TV.
Critics have been trashing
2000 as the worst year for movies since
the invention of talkies, but I'm not in
much of a position to argue with them. Few
of the flicks I actually ventured out to
see would make my Top 10 any other year,
although Cameron Crowe's rock and roll love
letter ALMOST
FAMOUS had its share of standout moments,
breakthrough performances, and Kate Hudson.
Can't complain there. Other than that, what
was there?
THE
CELL was certainly a visual stunner,
but its attempts at juggling the wildly
at-odds storylines was a bit more than the
director could handle. X-MEN
was easily the best superhero adaptation
since the original SUPERMAN, but is that
all that difficult? MEET THE PARENTS was
dark and funny, proving that Jay Roach could
make us laugh without resorting to...oh
no, wait, one of the big gags did involve
people being soaked by feces. SHAFT
was so-so, AMERICAN PSYCHO was muddled.
Did I see anything else? I guess catching
THUNDERBALL at the County Theater doesn't
count, eh?
Well, I can't think of much
else to say about the year that just passed.
I did buy a DVD player, though, and I've
purchased about a dozen titles in the last
two weeks. And while I sit there getting
ready to put my laser discs up on eBay,
I only have one wish for the coming year:
"Don't let this become a dead format.
I don't think my wallet can take it!"
That's it for this week...stop
back next week for more plugs, rants, and
shameless self-promotion.
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