TEMP SLAVES & CRIMEWAVES... THE MEAT KING
RETURNS... SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION
To my dear regular readers,
of whom there must be tens of you, I apologize
for missing out on last week's column.
You see, if business is bad,
I don't feel like writing much. In fact,
I feel like uncorking one of those big ass
bottles of red wine, calling up The
Hungover Gourmet and throwing OC
AND STIGGS on the ol' VCR.
On the other hand, if business
is good -- which it has been of late --
I feel like firing up a cigar, uncorking
a good bottle of Kendall Jackson Zinfandel,
calling THG, and tossing THE
STREET FIGHTER on the laserdisc player.
Either way, some days I just don't feel
like writing. And, last Friday was just
one of those days.
But, things are better now
-- Dave is distinguishing himself as The
Poet Laureate of Stupidville on 'The Real
World,' I get to go on a business trip to
Pittsburgh (home of some of my favorite
eateries), and my car might even be out
of the shop this afternoon. Wow! And we
won't even talk about having to eat $5000
of my 401K money in order to pay the IRS
for back taxes!
That is a story I'd
rather reserve for the pages of a zine like
WORKING FOR THE MAN: Stories From Behind
the Cubicle Wall. It's sort of sad that
the job of "temp" has taken on
such a negative image in the last few years.
Maybe I've just been lucky, but the temp-like
freelance work I've done has been nothing
but a positive experience. Sure, some of
it was a bit mindless. Sure, some of the
interview processes are insulting. But it's
nothing like the stories that appear in
is the work of Jeff Yamaguchi and his Stroboscope
Productions, and like TEMP SLAVE!,
WFTM is a collection of stories -- horror
stories, mainly -- about temping in today's
corporate world. There's Sheila Rice's penis-shriveling
'Working For a Pig: Stories of Sexual Harassment
in the Workplace' which makes you ashamed
to be a guy. Amy Ellsworth's 'The Mind Read'
is a bitterly funny read on the temping
environment and how it sucks to be different.
But it's the editor's work that really stands
out: 'The Fax Machine' struck a chord because
I spent three months in a university news
bureau doing nothing but copying news clippings
from a service -- it's a wonder I never
killed anyone; 'The Big Mistake' details
Jeff's attempts to start his own business
in this big, bad world; and, 'Temp for Hire'
makes a point of a topic I was bitching
about just the other night...companies that
don't have the common courtesy to send you
a letter of rejection after you've taken
the time to go on an interview. WFTM is
available for $2 from PO Box 460125, San
Francisco, CA 94146.
While we're on the subject
of zines, I just want to alert you to the
new ish of an ER fave as well as a snazzy
publication we stumbled across on a recent
trip to Philly.
up is Dann Lennard's BETTY PAGINATED,
one of the most loved and loathed zines
out there. Originating from the cozy confines
of Australia, BP swaggers in the face of
every granola-hugging, tree-crunching feminist
I went to college with or bumped in to at
a punk rock show. Yep, BP #18 is 48 pages
of unabashed love for porn stars, wrestlers,
strippers, booze, drive-in cinema, wrestlers,
and porn stars. Oh yeah, and Bettie Page.
Dann dishes up an article on THE REAL BETTIE
PAGE, the recent book that provides an unflattering
look at the pinup queen's post-pinup life.
Send $3 (or equivalent trade materials such
as zines, photos or magazines) to: Dann
Lennard, PO Box A1412, Sydney South, NSW,
Our newest read comes from
the mean streets of Ypsilanti, Michigan
-- and it's called CRIMEWAVE USA.
But don't let the title fool ya. This isn't
a paean to the banner years of cheesy detective
magazines. You know the ones, the kind you'd
stick inside Sports Illustrated and
read while waiting for your mom in the grocery
store. The kind you were always lifting
from the corner newsstand when the elderly
proprietors weren't looking. The kind...ah,
you get the idea.
CRIMEWAVE reminds me a bit of X, the superb
mag put out by Jeff Hansen and his crew
of misfits from Royal Oak, Michigan. Hey,
wait a second -- I wonder if there's some
sort of connection or if it's just something
in the water!
Anyway, this is another fine
zine that has more interesting articles
and ideas in its scant 52-pages than any
issue of DETAILS, POV, or MAXIM put together.
Especially fun is Leon Bernstein's 'Wine
Wave,' which provides pointers for wine-tards
who wouldn't know a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon
from Kool-Aid's Goofy Grape flavored drink
mix. Good stuff and I'll be looking for
more. $3 to Mark Maynard and Linette Lao
at PO Box 980301, Ypsilanti, MI 48198.
Everyone has a favorite tv
show that hardly ever aired. Me, I have
a couple. 'Whew!' was a bad game show that
I got addicted to one summer. Each day I'd
peddle home furiously from swim team practice
in order to catch every moronic second.
I've never met anyone that remembered it.
There was also 'King's Crossing,' a brutally
bad nighttime soap opera that made its way
onto the ABC Saturday night lineup before
'The Love Boat' and 'Fantasy Island.' It
starred Bradford Dillman and a pudgy, pre-TERMINATOR
Linda Hamilton. It aired for about six weeks
before the network gently pulled the plug.
Last, and certainly not least,
is 'Way USA,' an awe-inspiring double-shot
from the days when MTV was about more than
z-grade rap and reruns of 'My So Called
The show -- which aired once
or twice depending on who you talk to --
was a travelogue/pop-culture examination
hosted by the one, the only Tesco Vee. Never
heard of Tesco Vee? Well he be the lead
singer and chief Satanist of the Meatmen
-- that rock and roll juggernaut, five bees
in the bonnet of the human race, twistin'
USA youth into waste!
you're not familiar with the band or Mr.
Vee you may want to plunk down $10 of your
hard-earned cash for 'Evil in a League with
Satan,' their latest (and last?) EP. Sure,
it's got eight Meat classics like the title
track, "Strap On", and "Do
a Whippet", but it's also chock-full
of extra-juicy CD-ROM goodness like live
concert footage, a tour of Tesco's toy collection,
classic fliers and photos, a band discography,
lyrics. Plus, the uninitiated can experience
snippets from both 'Way USA' episodes...and
when you want to reserve your seat in Hell
just play a quick game of 'Tesco Vee vs.
Jesus,' a childlike video game. To order
the disc check out the Go
Kart Records web site. To read an interview
with the inimitable Mr. Vee go to CARBON
chat from issue #11.
speaking of C14, it's time for this week's
dose of shameless self-promotion! The new
issue is on the stands at finer reading
establishments everywhere and features interviews
with the likes of 60s cycle-savage-pic-scorer
Davie Allan, punk icon Jeff Dahl, and featured
artist Niagara. There's also a Confederacy
of Scum LIVE EP with tracks from Antiseen,
Hellstomper, Rancid Vat, Cocknoose, and
Limecell. Oh yeah, and there's something
called EXPLOITATION RETROSPECT #47 in the
middle complete with a Marilyn Burns interview,
a new column from The Hungover Gourmet,
movie reviews, and a chat with porn star
Sunset Thomas! Get your 100-page ish for
just $7 (postage paid) from Larry Kay, PO
Box 29247, Philadelphia, PA 19125.
That's it for this week...