Exploitation Retrospect | The Journal of Junk Culture and Fringe Media

The summer movie season seems to be fizzling, with HALLOWEEN WATER actually coming out on a Wednesday. Wasn't Wednesday usually reserved for big-time releases like STAR WARS flicks?

And though I don't find The Drudge Report interesting, its author recently remarked (and I'm paraphrasing here) in a speech to the National Press Club: "Isn't it more interesting to talk about GODZILLA than to actually see the movie?"

Which brings us to one of my favorite topics -- talking about flicks that haven't even been made yet! This week's future flick? BATMAN 5.

After the financial and critical drubbing -- both deserved, by the way -- last summer's BATMAN & ROBIN received, it's hard to believe any studio would be interested in backing another installment in the limping series. But, sheep are sheep, and it appears that Warner Bros. (producers of the first four installments) will be making an announcement regarding the series.

Since the box office disaster of the fourth installment rumors have been flying fast and furious: George Clooney will leave and be replaced by Kurt Russell. George Clooney will leave and be replaced by Clint Eastwood for a version based on THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS. Clooney will fly off and Ben Affleck (aigh!) will star in a version based on YEAR ONE. Villains will be played by everyone in Hollywood including: Jeff Goldblum, Ewan McGregor, Kevin Spacey, and Howard Stern (The Scarecrow); Billy Bob Thornton (The Ventriloquist); Jim Carrey (reprising The Riddler); Michelle Pfieffer (back as The Catwoman); Jack Nicholson (Joker); and, Jenny McCarthy and Madonna (Harley Quinn). Whew...oh yeah, and Robin becomes Nightwing, Batgirl dies, and The Bat adopts a new Robin in the form of Leonardo Decaprio.

In order to keep up with this fast and furious rumor mill, ring up The Geriatric Bat for the latest details, a recap of recent rumors, and links to other B5 rumor sites. But, if you're like me, and you find BATMAN: THE ANIMATED SERIES and THE NEW ADVENTURES OF BATMAN far better than any of the flicks in the series (except maybe BATMAN RETURNS), dial up their official sites for episode guides, video, sound, and schedules.

It's a Summer Storm...
Sometimes when I'm fighting off a vicious hangover I reach for a beverage that gives me a little hydration without the sticky sweet syrupy feel of a cola. However, sometimes even my beloved Mt. Dew has too much sugar and caffeine -- resulting in a solid rock of nausea jiggling around in my belly.

Pepsi, the nation's number two soft drink company, has always tried harder than Coca-Cola. And, in response to hungover writers, editors, students and graphic designers everywhere they're now testing Storm, a lemon-lime beverage poised to battle Sprite and 7-Up.

Main difference? While those beverages provide a crisp, sparkling flavor they lack the caffeine boost you sometimes need after a tough morning. Storm solves that problem, adding a caffeinated jolt to its lemon-lime base. And fear not Dew fans, a quick call to the Pepsi Consumer Question Line confirmed that this fluid would simply be a line addition and in no way threatens The Dew.

Taste test results? In a blind taste test our judges were hard pressed to make a distinction bewteen Sprite, Storm, and 7-Up.

Vinyl, Vinyl, Everywhere...
Frequent readers know I'm not one of those anti-progress tree-huggers. But, after years of cd purchasing I find that my cd collection continues to shrink while my vinyl shelf grows and grows and grows.

It isn't the sound, like lots of audiophiles protest. It isn't even the price, though I can't understand how a new Rocket From the Crypt disc can cost $10 while a new major label release runs close to $15.

To me, I simply like the look, feel, and the distinctive snap & crackle an LP brings to the table. Let's face it, when was the last time you actually read a cd booklet while you listened to the disc?

If you're looking to grow your vinyl collection, there's only one place you need to haul ass to -- Jerry's Records in Pittsburgh, PA.

"Pittsburgh?!," you're saying. Trust me. Dealers from NYC travel over to the big, bad 'Burgh simply to shop Jerry's 12,000 square feet of nothing but vinyl. No cds, no videotapes, no books. LPs, 45s, 78s, 10", 12"...room after room of nothing but rock, pop, alternative, soul, r&b, compilations, soundtracks, spoken word, jazz, country, international, folk, comedy, and the list goes on, and on, and on.

If you're ever in the Pittsburgh area -- and I mean within five hours -- do yourself a favor and stop by 2136 Murray Ave. in the Squirrel Hill neighborhood just off 376. Call 412-421-4533 or 1-800-95-VINYL for hours, details, and directions.

That's it for this week...

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