8/14/98:
GOING BACK IN TIME, BUT JUST FOR THE WEEKEND
For those of you who aren't
familiar with ER's history (especially the
pre-on-line daze), the print version of
the zine started back in that grand summer
of 1986. It was the sort of time that couldn't
last forever, but what the hell did we know?
You see, each and every week
we had a choice of not one, not two, but
at least three or four horror, sci-fi, action/adventure,
exploitation, sexploitation, or z-grade
comedies. Friday afternoons were spent pouring
over the Inquirer's Weekend section, debating
the merits of BLOODY BIRTHDAY vs. DEMONS.
THE SNOWS OF KILIMANJARO vs. THE TOXIC AVENGER?
AVENGING FORCE or RE-ANIMATOR?
And this doesn't even take
into consideration the triple-features of
classics from yesteryear playing at the
Super 130 or Atco Drive-Ins, or the thinly
veiled rereleases of Italian chunkblowers
playing at the sleazy Budco Midtown in the
city.
Sigh.
Things had changed dramatically
by the time ER celebrated its first anniversary
in the summer of 1987. Big-budget exploitation
flicks had become the rage, leaving little
room for things like JAKE SPEED or VAMP.
Instead, studios were pouring cash into
franchises, remakes, and rip-offs.
By the summer of 1988 the
drive-ins were showing the same fare clogging
up the multiplexes and there was little
room for a group of drunk college grads
packed into a Honda Quaalude. Times had
changed, but we hadn't.
Pretty soon video became the
only outlet for hardened gorehounds looking
for a quick fix, and even then the serious
cineaste had to plow through an immense
pile of horseshit before they uncovered
a sparkling gem like NAKED
OBSESSION or THE
UNBORN.
Until
last weekend. I don't know if it was a full
moon. I don't know if the planets were aligned.
Hell, I don't even know if I imagined the
whole damn thing! But, if memory serves
me correctly -- and unlike the old days,
I can vouch that I was clean and sober throughout
the entire process -- I actually sat in
a grindhouse for a double of CANNIBAL FEROX
and BURIAL GROUND Friday night, then plunked
my lawn chair down at the drive-in for a
double of HALLOWEEN
20 and DISTURBING
BEHAVIOR on Saturday. Could I please
get some independent verification, please...
Friday's festivities took
place at The Harwin, one of the few remaining
movie houses in the Delaware Valley. A classic
old building -- there's still a smoking
lounge upstairs and the screen has a sizable
stage in front of it -- The Harwin is the
locale for silver scream presentations by
Exhumed
Films.
Run by a group of horror fanatics
from the area, Exhumed started out by screening
flicks last Halloween. The response was
so great -- thanks to teenage gorehounds
and goth freaks who weren't even alive
when the first HALLOWEEN was released in
1978 -- that classics like EVIL DEAD 2:
DEAD BY DAWN and Bob Clark's underrated
DEATHDREAM have recently been unspooled
for fans.
Friday saw the aforementioned
CANNIBAL FEROX (aka MAKE THEM DIE SLOWLY)/BURIAL
GROUND double, and it was an all-around
winner. Sure, I'd just seen the uncut laser
of CF and BURIAL GROUND was hardly one of
the outstanding zombie flicks of the post-DAWN
OF THE DEAD years, but what the hell?! The
chance to see a double bill with fellow
fans was too great an opportunity to pass
up! (Be sure to check out the Exhumed
site for details on their incredible
trio of double coming this October!)
High on the smell of stale
urine and musty seat cushions, the drive-in
beckoned on Saturday evening. Especially
since a developer just purchased the land
next to the Bucks County Drive-In and it
may be forced to bring down its screens
at the end of this season. (The topic was
being put to a vote in the township where
the di resides and we're waiting for details
on the outcome.)
We stopped for hoagies and
soda on the way (man, I must be getting
old...what happened to Chinese food and
a case of Natty Boh?!) and then sat under
the stars for the last horror double I might
ever get to enjoy in the comfort of a lawn
chair. Which is a horrible thought.
What
shocked me most -- more than any scene in
the films -- was the number of small children,
toddlers that were sitting on blankets watching
a fairly violent, sorta bloody flick about
an unstoppable, malevolent force that tries
to kill the children of Janet Leigh and
Alan Arkin! Of course, this did lead to
the evening's finest moment as a young boy
(maybe, maybe 8!) got the crap scared out
of him by an older brother who bounded out
of the shadows on the path to the restrooms.
Ah, maybe cinema still has that raw, visceral
power that attracted me in the first place!
As for the flicks, H20 (or
HALLOWEEN WATER as it's come to be known
in the circle) was a thoroughly by-the-numbers
horror flick with no reason to exist other
than box office potential. Forget Jamie
Lee Curtis' bullshit about wanting to revisit
the character. She wanted to revisit the
Box Office Top 10. We're talking about a
woman who hasn't been seen in the vicinity
of a hit since TRUE LIES...and that was,
what, 1995?! That's what you get for making
flicks with Kevin Pollack.
To sum it up: a story that
could've been grafted from any early 80s
slasher flick, plus a mean streak running
through that made the flick not much fun
to watch.
DISTURBING BEHAVIOR, on the
other hand, was definitely the evening's
revelation! Directed by David Nutter (TRANCERS
4 and 5, various 'X-Files' episodes including
"Ice," and the 'Millennium' pilot),
DB has a murky, high-paranoia feel that
comes across like THE STEPFORD KIDS MEET
THE PARALLAX VIEW.
It's also a flick that, despite
its flaws, could provide some pointers for
up and coming filmmakers: forget all that
plot stuff, roll credits, start the story
and don't let up until 90 minutes are up.
Oh yeah, and toss in a hot chick with her
top unbuttoned every now and then.
Though our summer viewing
hasn't exactly been the stuff of legend
(these two flicks, THE
LAST DAYS OF DISCO and THE OPPOSITE
OF SEX pretty well sum it up), DISTURBING
BEHAVIOR is the cream of the crop.
That's it for this week...
