Available from Cult Epics | Review by Pinky Royale
Text books and Nick at Nite reruns do their best to convince us that the 50's were a time of freckle faced gee wizzes and families cheering for their Ovaltine. Cars were huge, gas was cheap and Dad’s hair had so much pomade in it that a Category 4 hurricane couldn’t ruffle its architectural integrity. Mom did the dishes in her pearls and there were these outfits that were referred to as “Sunday Best”s. While some of this may be true and not TV studio utopianism, other things were afoot. The good things: we got seatbelts, we began the fight against segregation, Rosa Parks took a stand, and Elvis thrust his cock and balls into the faces of millions of Americans. The bad things: that whole McCarthy deal, the Rosenbergs were murdered for no good reason, and McDonald's showed up on the scene (cue hardened arteries and obese infants). America was, as it always is, in complete and utter turmoil. With the benefit of hindsight, all things, even the bad elements, look charming and fuzzy around the edges, but actually it was a decade that for the most part assumed that it was going to be immolated in a fiery, atom bomb blast that was to be hand delivered to our great nation by Communists and homosexuals.
Amidst all of this there was Betty Page. Without her, one could be forgiven for assuming that sex wasn’t invented until the 60's.
The pin-up scene of the day was and still is a classy nod towards the intrinsic beauty of women – real women. This was before someone decided that heroin addicts were hot. Women had hips, breasts, and attitude.
THE BETTIE PAGE COLLECTION, a 3 DVD set from Cult Epics, pulls together a nice chunk of the good old days. The bondage films and "wiggle dance" films of Irving Klaw, and the pin-up photography of Bunny Yeager, all tied together (no pun intended) by the one and only Bettie Page. Other models of the era make their appearances – Lili St. Cyr, Tempest Storm, etc. – but the real attraction here, as it is billed, is Bettie Page.
BETTIE PAGE, BONDAGE QUEEN is a documentation, a preservation, of the classic bondage films of Irving Klaw. These were the smut of their day, and I bet it really freaked folks out, got their motors running (or got them to confession on a regular basis). The funny thing about the films is their total lack of sexiness. I was never into the bondage thing. Sure, the pictures were neat, I liked the stills of Bettie Page as much as the next person. I always assumed that the films would hold some allure, some inherent eroticism that naturally went along with giant attractive women in stockings and heels... bras and lace. These films border on slapstick and are more suited for a night of giggles and laughs than getting friendly with the hand and a bottle of lotion.
The action is quite rushed and jerky (no steady cam and what I assume was a limited budget). There is no time taken to relish the action. It’s one knot, another knot, a rapid, clownish spanking, and some more knots. Boy Scouts could train with this stuff, as could the Keystone Cops. Women in absurdly high heels attempt to walk and dance, but end up looking like billy goats trying to walk on their back two feet.
But it's all in fun. For the most part, the models are smiling, laughing, or trying (but not succeeding) to look serious. They were in on the joke and knew that they look ridiculous wearing 25" heels and tying another model to a wooden crucifix, or lacing her up into a custom made horse bridle. Unlike a lot of porn today, the women were involved and seemingly enjoying the absurdity. You never got the creepy feeling that they were bribed with drugs or harbored some sad desire to get back at their fathers who never held them enough. There is no weirdness here, just silly and healthy sexual expression.
Sadly, the disc is marred by muffled narration and a terrible, TERRIBLE soundtrack courtesy Queen E. King. If I could make one recommendation, it would be to just mute this disc and listen to whatever music you think is suitable – Sisters of Mercy, Tennessee Ernie Ford, NON, whatever – anything but what is already there. Better yet, watch it with no sound, as it was originally. The films themselves are priceless and are required viewing for anyone interested in the history of sexuality, bondage, and blue cinema.
In BETTIE PAGE, PIN-UP QUEEN, we get to see classic burlesque films by Irving Klaw and Jerald Intrator. These are amazing and goofy reels of dancing beauties presented to you in “Dazzling Eastman Color!” STRIPORAMA, VARITEASE, and TEASEORAMA are here, and you KNOW that anything with a "rama" suffix has got to be quality. Klaw’s EXOTIC DANCES with Bettie Page is also here, presenting a series of grainy, jumpy old time silent films of Bettie doing seductive dances with a tambourine, maracas, a hat, and a rather phallic-headed clown doll. My only real gripe is that the "rama" films are not shown in their entirety, with just Bettie’s appearances culled from them. I know that this is a Bettie Page vehicle, but it would have been fun to see the full films in all of their absurdity and sexiness.
Bettie Page, as she is famous for, is great in that her attitude fills the scenes with a cagey sort of playfulness that makes you feel alright for looking at a stranger dance around in her underwear. There is no guilt involved that may accompany a trip to the strip club or watching a video of a 18 year old girl swallow 7 liters of semen. Bettie was more than just a model or a pretty face, like the women that get touted as super-models these days. She seemed accessible and was actually a really, truly beautiful woman. She had a smile that stretched for miles, cute hair, and a body type that you just don’t see anymore. When I see her, I don’t really think about sexy things, I think that she seems like she’d be a fun lady to hang out with, really down to earth and comfortable with herself. And you’ve got to admire someone who can dance around while wearing 6" heels and not snap her ankles, that really is the true wonder of these films.
The final disc is 100 GIRLS BY BUNNY YEAGER. Bunny was a model turned photographer and made a career out of photographing beautiful naked and almost naked women in the late and never great state of Florida. Here she narrates a quick run through her book of the same title. Shown mostly through stills of her shots of models over the years, this chronicles the works of “The World’s Prettiest Photographer.” Throughout, Bunny briefly reminisces about each of the featured girls and there are a few film clips from some laughably bad movies she did in the ‘50s: BUNNY YEAGER'S NUDE CAMERA and BUNNY YEAGER'S NUDE LAS VEGAS. Mildly interesting at best, it probably doesn’t bear repeated showings like the other two discs, but it was informative and deserves at least one viewing if you don’t know anything about her.
This set of Bettie Page classics is a fine addition to anyone’s collection. With equal parts camp, sleaze, and fun, you really can’t go wrong. Whether alone on a Wednesday night or as a background distraction at your next Tupperware party, you’re sure to get a kick out of these 50's era girly flicks.
