William
Winckler Productions | Review by Dan Taylor
The, um, biggest superhero
making their way onto video lately may not
be one you're familiar with.
Skinny little Spider-Man would
be no match for Kitten Natividad in the
tit-ular role of THE DOUBLE-D AVENGER. Yes,
the very same Kitten who starred in such
Russ Meyer big-boob escapades as 1979's
BENEATH THE VALLEY OF THE ULTRA-VIXENS and
soft-core features like FRESH TITS OF BEL
AIR (1992).
These days Natividad looks
more like a swollen, aging Mariah Carey
than the voluptuous sex star who gave red-blooded
males that "special feeling."
The 77-minute feature has
Natividad (playing a bar owner named Chastity
Knott) traveling to South America to sample
a phallic fruit that can cure her breast
cancer! I'm guessing this is the first flick
to mine the comic potential of the disease,
a plot device made more bizarre by the star's
own mastectomy in October 1999. In true
superhero fashion, the fruit gives Chastity
super powers, and when the need arises she
turns into the costumed Double-D Avenger.
What kind of crime does a
big-boobed bar owner face? Threats on her
life from rival bar owner Al Purplewood,
of course. Seems everybody is going to Chastity's
place and nobody wants to see his top-heavy
dancers (Meyer flick vet Haji, Mimma Mariucci
and Sheri Dawn Thomas), so the crazed booze-and-boob
jockey resorts to wiping out the competition.
Full of off-color jokes and
not-so-subtle double entendres, DOUBLE-D
doesn't have a politically-correct bone
in its body. Mexicans are portrayed as bug-eyed,
tequila-swilling caricatures, and every
woman is a walking Playboy cartoon.
While I'd love to tell you
that what THE DOUBLE-D AVENGER lacks in
subtlety it makes up for in eroticism, the
impromptu big-boob lingerie fashion show
is the closest the flick comes to ever being
sexy or erotic.
Frankly, all those titanic
sweater puppies look PAINFUL!
