Like
any red-blooded film fan I prefer my movies
full of sex, violence, and zombies. And
if you put them all together, hell you just
can't lose! This rare DVD does just that,
presenting Joe D'Amato's hardcore porno
zombie film EROTIC NIGHTS OF THE LIVING
DEAD (AKA SEXY NIGHTS OF THE LIVING DEAD)
in all of its uncut unrated glory. Yeah,
baby!
It all begins at the island
Hospital Psiquiatrico Provincial. The camera
pans around as the credits play, looking
at the variety of inmates kept therein but
coming back time and again to a tall bearded
fellow at the edge of the fence. In short
order he's met down in the hospital basement
by a nubile young nurse, and without any
preliminaries he picks her up and they start
banging away.
Cut to a sailboat out on a
deep sea fishing jaunt. Larry O'Hara (George
Eastman) is the skipper, taking a fatcat
tourist and his lovely young island wife
out for a sunny afternoon cruise. Larry
and the girl have been trading small intimacies
all day, and that night she leaves her husband
at the gambling tables to join Larry for
a little midnight delight. As they say their
goodbyes in the morning they see a disfigured
man-like creature in the water by the dock,
and when the startled Larry hits the thing
in the head with a large gaff the body is
soon on its way to the coroner's office.
There an MD, ignoring the advice of his
assistants to be careful around the body,
peels back the shroud to expose a gruesome
close-up of the thing's decayed maggot-riddled
face. From there it takes the creature only
seconds to revive and tear out the doctor's
throat. Rising from the autopsy table, the
thing gets to its feet and slowly shambles
away.
In one of the island's hotels,
architect John Wilson (Mark Shannon), having
just made an arrangement to lease all of
Cat Island with the aim of developing the
deserted isle into a luxury resort, is cavorting
with a pair of prostitutes. The camera watches
closely as the ladies undress, then follows
them into the shower for some lathering
up. Soon the three of them are in bed together,
and after Wilson goes down on them they
return the favor with a slow and steamy
double blowjob (not at all seeming to mind
the warts on Wilson's marble bag). It's
a good one, so good in fact that when one
of the girls finally mounts him Wilson blows
his wad in less than twenty seconds. (Which
the second girl is right on hand to catch.)
Elsewhere a local fisherman,
warned by an assistant that "it"
has been seen down around the docks again,
prepares a magic circle of candles and places
a small idol at its center. This does him
no good however, as a ragged figure stalks
up behind him and rips blood-gushing bites
out of either side of his neck.
Back in Wilson's hotel room
everything's rosy, but when he invites the
ladies along on a trip to Cat Island they
beat it out the door so fast they don't
even stop for their pay. Upon hearing Wilson
out in the hallway shouting, "Wait
a minute you dumb whores, you forgot your
money!" another dumb whore, I mean
sexy young lady, comes out of her room and
makes a play for him. In no time at all
they're the best of friends, naked friends,
and in the morning she (Dirce Funari) accompanies
Wilson as he approaches Larry about taking
them to Cat Island. Despite "a legend
about zombies led by a cat" the price
is right and Larry is willing, and arrangements
are made to set sail the next day. But first
a little preparation, which in Larry's case
involves taking in a private nightclub show
by another island beauty. After a little
dance and striptease the lady produces a
champagne bottle, which she gradually squats
over and gyrates upon until the cork pops
right off inside her. After which the champagne
is served with a smile. ("I really
go for your number," Larry says.)
Next morning the group heads
out to sea. After a leisurely cruise accompanied
by a little beer, dope, and sex, they reach
the island and begin surveying the site
of the future hotel. It's not too far from
the island's cemetary, which is perpetually
haunted by the black cat that gives the
place its name. As Wilson expounds upon
his plan to turn the graveyard into a heliport
the landing party is met by a striking young
beauty (Laura Gemser) and her grandfather,
who warn the brash businessman against any
development or habitation of the island.
Not long after this meeting a mysterious
wind blows up, driving the crew back to
the boat. Which is where Wilson discovers
that the native girl doesn't appear in any
of the photographs he took earlier...
The next day when they return
to the island the natives aren't so restless.
As Wilson's girlfriend sunbathes naked,
as she frequently does, she's approached
by the island girl and soon the two of them
are involved in some heated frottage. On
the other side of the island Larry seeks
out the old man and asks him a few earnest
questions about the island. Grandfather
is short on answers, but he does give Larry
a protective fetish, telling him, "It
may save you." When Larry comes across
the granddaughter swimming naked by the
beach she expresses the same sentiments.
A little spooked now, Larry takes his passengers
back to the boat. But that night as Wilson
and his girlfriend are occupied with a little
anal sex, Larry returns to the island and
the mysterious girl. As they make love in
the waters just offshore, a crowd of zombies
slowly gathers on the beach. Suddenly the
girl disappears, leaving Larry alone with
the creatures, but the moment he brandishes
the charm they turn and begin to walk away.
In the morning Larry is found passed out
on the beach by Wilson and the girl, and
as he takes her back to the ship Wilson
goes inland and attempts to bribe the old
man. The rudeness he displayed before seems
to get him no further this time, until he
makes a pass at the man's granddaughter
and she agrees to meet him later: "Not
during the day... I like it by moonlight."
In the meantime the engine
trouble Larry's boat has been experiencing
has forced him to place a call for assistance
to the Coast Guard. As the group waits in
frustration tempers begin to rise, and after
a near fistfight Wilson takes the dinghy
to shore for his moonlight encounter, leaving
his girlfriend on board to seduce Larry.
Searching for the girl Wilson comes across
an old fishermen's shack, and within it
a circle of candles surrounding another
amulet. When he throws this to the ground
in disdain it immediately turns into the
black cat, which leaps screaming at his
face before running away. Immediately zombies
begin to appear, and Wilson is forced to
destroy several of them in order to escape
the shack. Finding the girl alone on the
beach he approaches her and is told that
she has something for him; unzipping his
pants the beautiful woman leans in and...
bites his cock right off! Within moments
the zombies have him, and Wilson is nothing
more than a grisly buffet.
More and more of the creatures
are rising from the ground as Larry and
the girl go looking for Wilson, and by the
time they find him he has become a zombie
as well. Larry puts him down with a shot
to the head, but as they run back to the
dinghy to leave the island for good several
of the creatures rise up out of the waves
and force them back inland. Blowing the
heads off zombies as they go (until one
lays ahold of the rifle) Larry and the girl
run for the shelter of the fishermen's shack.
The creatures follow, and a climactic head-chopping
ghoul-burning showdown commences. Will the
pair escape a horrible cannibalistic fate?
Will they ever make it off the island? And
if they do, what then...?
Now there's an epic picture!
Sex, gore, black magic, gorgeous naked women,
zombies, and the champagne trick, all taking
place in beautiful seaside settings. Sure
the "legend of zombies led by a cat"
is a little off, and the picture could have
used more guts (being spilled, that is)
and a little less back-and-forth with the
running around between the boat and the
island, but all in all EROTIC NIGHTS...
is a very good-looking zombie picture that
goes the extra mile-and-a-half with its
inclusion of graphic sex. While the film
does contain more sex than violence, in
fact including more sex scenes than scenes
of zombie killings and zombies being killed
combined, the only real XXX scene is the
one in which Wilson parties with the two
hookers. Most of the rest of the action
is somewhat less than hardcore, but the
perpetual nudity, especially from the petite
and nearly always naked Funari, goes a long
way toward making up for this.
And it's given the perfect
format in which to do so – the picture,
in glowing widescreen, is crisp and beautiful,
coming off as brilliantly big-screen as
possible on a television set. The Dolby
Digital sound is mastered at a rather low
level, but this is nothing that a little
volume control can't fix. As an NTSC Region
1 English language release, the whole package
is just tailor-made for red-blooded movie
fans on this continent.
The DVD comes complete with
a handsomely formatted chapter selection
menu, as well as extras such as a collection
of alternative footage entitled "Erotic
Sunny Afternoons of the Living Dead."
Although these segments look very similar
to the scenes used in the film, they do
include the cock-chomping "Love At
First Bite" scene as well as a choice
shot of a zombie getting his face blown
off. There's also a great collection of
production stills, as well as a healthy
and arousing gallery for featured actress
Laura Gemser, the dusky beauty from BLACK
EMMANUELLE, EMMANUELLE AND THE CANNIBALS,
VIOLENCE IN A WOMEN'S PRISON, DIE NONNE
UND DAS BIEST, the Italian Playboy, and
more. (Is that a shot of her with Orson
Welles?) Also included is a very explicit
trailer for the film, along with fascinating
trailers for Fulci's ZOMBI 2 (special 25th
anniversary edition), D'Amato's EMMANUELLE
AND THE LAST CANNIBALS, NIGHTMARES COME
AT NIGHT, and SLAUGHTER
HOTEL (LA BESTIA UCCIDE a SANGUE FREDDO
starring Klaus Kinski).
