Warner
Bros. Home Video | Review by Dan Taylor
We
all make mistakes in life. Some are more
glaring than others. Some, unfortunately,
are made in public. Warner Bros. and I are
both guilty, but at least I don't have any
witnesses.
Me? I have a pretty set routine
when it comes to checking out a Steven Seagal
flick. Despite their often incomprehensible
plots filled with shadowy hit men and international
conspiracies, I just buy my ticket and check
my brain at the door. While I usually need
my cerebral cortex to appreciate the bilingual
mish-mash of a Van Damme or the "how'd
they do that?" stuntwork of a Chan
set piece, Seagal's recent output hasn't
required that much in the way of smarts.
In fact, flip to the "Off" position
and everything from OUT FOR JUSTICE to UNDER
SIEGE 2 becomes not just "watchable,"
but downright "enjoyable." And
that includes ON DEADLY GROUND, big Steve's
unfairly-maligned directorial debut.
I
quickly realize my mistake when I
start pinpointing their mistake...they
make Seagal act. Worse yet, they make Seagal
act funny. Unfortunately, once the
flick starts the "Brain Check Room"
is closed. Uh-oh.
THE GLIMMER MAN is another
in a long line of ebony & ivory action
flicks that attempts to offset its bone-shattering,
wife-crucifying, window-breaking, ass-kicking
plotline with a lethal dose of witty banter
from the leads. LETHAL WEAPON makes it work,
NUMBER ONE WITH A BULLET don't. THE LAST
BOY SCOUT makes it work, THE GLIMMER MAN
don't.
Even
Keenan Ivory Wayans -- who seems to be competing
with brother Damon (CELTIC PRIDE, BULLETPROOF,
BLANKMAN) for worst career choices by age
40 -- comes across only slightly
better than Seagal. His "tough"
cop persona seems to be a cover for his
sentimental side -- he cries at CASABLANCA
and collects old movie memorabilia. So this
is what passes for character development
these days? Hell, at least the Pillsbury
Doughcop's character has a background story,
lame though it may be.
Which brings us to the end.
In ABOVE THE LAW, Seagal was a doughy-but-believable
fighter, dispatching goons and cretins with
a vicious defensive stance. At this point,
his expanding girth and flashless fighting
leaves me wondering -- how do these stuntmen
show their face back in Hong Kong? Gettin'
your ass kicked by action/adventure's own
Michelin Tire Man can't be a real career-booster.
His enemies may not be able
to, but you can avoid THE GLIMMER
MAN.
