Let's start with the rundown: Stephen Tsepes (Silvio Oliviero), vampire at large, drives a taxi during the graveyard shift, picks up hot babes who are depressed and horny, and then proceeds to turn their jugulars into beer taps. Then along comes Michele (Helen Papas), a dead ringer for Tsepes' old flame. Her husband is two- timing her and she is also terminally ill – making life as an immortal undead person look mighty appealing.

I'd hit the flick with the megathumbs down if it weren't for the large breasts sported by the nude sexy chicks. (For heterosexual female readers – megathumbs down, without saying). Writer/director Gerard Ciccoritti farts out all the bloated cliches of the vampire subgenre, hoping to jazz up the proceedings with slick MIAMI VICE/MTV-style photography. Unfortunately, pretty pictures don't cut it when you have no story to tell.

The two original concepts (a taxi-driving vampire and vampirism as a cure-all for cancer) are thrown out early. Shortly afterwards, the story sputters to a halt, and we're left with a flick trying to pad itself out to an acceptable "movie" length. The conclusion is inevitable, and can be seen any Saturday afternoon, somewhere on cable-TV.