ICC
Video | Review by Dan Taylor
The
year is 1953, and Dyanne Thorne (ILSA: SHE
WOLF OF THE SS, ILSA: HAREM KEEPER OF THE
OIL SHIEKS) is the big-breasted, Commandant
of a Siberian gulag for Russian political
prisoners. Like any good worker she takes
great joy in tossing javelins through the
head's of attempted escape artists, and
watching as her toadies play "Ring
the Bell, Win a Kupie Doll" with the
guy's noggin'! However, massive-mammaried
Russkie babe that she is, ol' Ilsa (though
she's never referred to by that name) takes
even greater joy in using the aforementioned
toadies as sexual toys to fulfill her body;
which, by the way, is "full and warm...
just like Mother Russia." Yep, we've
got softcore sex and hardcore violence...
WHAT A COMBO!
The scenes in Siberia are
pretty harsh, considering that we get to
see: a Siberian Water Torture; an arm wrestling
match where the loser's arm gets cut off
by a chainsaw; lots of attempted brainwashing;
and a double-penetration sex scene where
Ilsa uses a set of spurs and a riding crop
on the two guys who are making bouncy-bouncy
with her!
However, just as luck would
have it, Stalin up and dies, and everything
Ilsa and Co. have been doing is considered
"officially not nice" by the new
Russian leadership. What's a girl to do?
Well, she simply picks her two favorite
fuck beasts/toadies, and the three of them
start torching the camp and killing everyone...
both sides... in a spectacular orgy of violence!
Which you'd think would bring
us to the end of the flick? Not frickin'
likely, because the story jumps ahead 24
years to 1977 where the lone survivor of
the Great Gulag Holocaust of '53 is now
the security chief for the Russian National
Hockey Team. When he knuckles under to the
Commie sex drives of two of the players
and accompanies them to a Montreal brothel,
you just know that trouble's a brewin'!
Sure enough, Commandant Ilsa
just happens to be a whorehouse madam who
brainwashes anyone who stands in her way.
Old habits die hard, eh? As expected, she
kidnaps the security chief because she thinks
that he is there to bring her in and "settle
the score." After doing a quick brainscan
to determine his greatest fear, she discovers
that he has an incredible fear of having
his dick bit off by a tiger... then again,
name me a guy who doesn't! Well, Ilsa obviously
hasn't been reading the Pravda Post lately,
because things are just a little bit different
in Russkie-land these days, and they send
in a hockey team full of special agents
to "settle the score" with the
Buxom Bimbo from Bratislav.
The end battle is whacky,
violent and ironic (all at the same time),
much to the credit of writer Marvin McGara
and director Jean Lefleur (succeeding Don
Edmunds who helmed the first two installments
of the series). What could have amounted
to a silly T&A revenge epic turns out
to be a fun and entertaining mix of sex
and violence that I enjoyed more than the
legendary ILSA: SHE-WOLF OF THE SS. While
not as fiercely perverse as that exploitation
high point, TIGRESS OF SIBERIA is more entertaining,
especially for violence-heads.
