Available
from Sub Rosa Studios | Review
by Crites
From
beneath the lowest common denominator inspired
by Troma comes this, INBRED REDNECK ALIEN
ABDUCTION. INBRED REDNECK ALIEN ABDUCTION.
Laugh now, I'm afraid that's about as funny
as it gets.
Some dingus is banging his
betty out in the countryside when a flying
plastic bearclaw swings by and steals her
away. There's an attempt at slapstick as
dingus gets his dick caught in the blow-up
fuckdoll the aliens leave behind (wha?)
and goes running into the yard of some inbred
rednecks and their wig-wearing offspring.
This in turn leads into bit of attempted
musical comedy as said spaceship returns
for a CLOSE ENCOUNTERS-style duet with said
rednecks in a moment that makes the cast
of Roseanne's mockery of Jesco White seem
classy.
The ship is eventually blasted
by head inbred redneck Pappy Duke Zeeka
(Don Pearson) and his double-barreled shotgun,
and not long afterward a couple of feds,
Ikan Kikyeras (Mischa Bolet) and Special
Agent Seth Cooper (Chad Bockholdt), are
given a security briefing in Washington
D.C. by their fruity ponytail-wearing Director
Butts. Hopping into their undercover snack
cake delivery van (loaded with "Tasty
Dongs") the agents are soon on a scenic
blue-screen journey to the backwoods, where
even now a drawn-out fish-slappin' tobacco-spittin'
hillbilly brawl is taking place between
Pappy and LarryBob (director Voss) over
some tanks of swamp gas. Or something.
After several retarded encounters
the agents reach the Zeeka property and
engage in a bit of a chase (to surf music,
incongruously enough) before at last meeting
up with the Zeeka clan. As they all sit
down and eat watermelon (loved by all, but
loved more by some, if you know what I mean...well,
okay, the gag is that Larry Bob FUCKED THAT
MELON, BABY! YEAH!) the agents' questions
are simple-mindedly evaded, and while they
sleep off the moonshine party that follows
one of the redneck women is abducted by
a gang of Mardi Gras-headed aliens.
A shotgun blastin' chase through
the woods ensues (again, to surf music?!),
but the aliens get away with young SuzyBob.
And Pappy's jug. Up in their spaceship the
chunky chicklet is stripped down for a probing,
while back down on terra firma Jango Bynx,
the janitorial equivalent of Boba Fett,
leads agents and rednecks alike to an open
field where they're unquestionably zapped
aboard the alien mothership in kiddie TV
playhouse fashion.
It's not long before agent
Kikyeras is enjoying a probing herself,
as Cooper and LarryBob engage in a clapper
battle with a raygun-wielding alien. In
the course of all the running around the
missing betty from earlier in the film is
found in a semi-conscious state of dissection,
a Bigfoot is found and thawed out, there's
more chasing around through the spray-painted
garbage dump of the spaceship, and LarryBob
gets a fisting he enjoys so much that when
it stops he turns tables and buggers one
of the one-eyed aliens (no small surprise,
LarryBob having previously shown an affinity
for sticking his dick into pigs, goats,
watermelons, and coonskin socks). "Whoo-yeah!
How many holes you got back here?!"
More running around and laser
beams, and our crew reassembles to find
a cluster of escape pods. The cheapest space
race ever filmed follows, and with a couple
of crash landings and crashed gags this
ABDUCTION is over. Well, almost...
A misguided attempt to cross
THE FORBIDDEN ZONE with BAD TASTE, this
may or may not be all in fun; I didn't dare
go back and watch it again with the commentary
track. At any rate, a lot of effort (well,
at least two weekends' worth) went into
the set-up of what comes down to the worst
STAR WARS joke in history. (If you enjoyed
this, stay tuned for EPISODE II: REVENGE
OF THE SPORK...) Dumb stereotypes are made
even dumber, gags are milked for all they're
worth and, generally, the flick doesn't
even fulfill its promise of being "sister-lickin'
good." On the plus side however, the
low sights set by the producers make the
character acting easy and enthusiastic.
Filmed in Missouri, Illinois
and Arkansas, INBRED REDNECK ALIEN ABDUCTION
features music by The Honkeys, Dead Celebrities,
Trip Daddy, Jet Jaguar and more. "Bonus"
features include deleted scenes (could've
been a few more of those... although "Pecker-High
Midgets with Knives" was worth a chortle
or two), a collection of bloopers (aren't
they all?) and, of course, the collection
of stills and trailers.
