Yee gads, what hell hath Wes Craven and SCREAM wrought?

Suffering through this atrocious sequel to the atrocious original made me realize that maybe I DON'T want horror flicks and glorified B-movies released in theaters. Maybe we WERE better of when most of this garbage was going straight-to-video and Kevin Williamson was toiling in deserved obscurity.

I KNOW..., of course, was another urban legend turned into a blockbuster teen-scream flick. It's also responsible for bringing us the thoroughly ubiquitous Freddie Prinze, Jr. You know, I'm not sure which pisses me off more.

What made the flick so laughable — beyond its tissue-thin teen-novel premise — was the Gorton's of Gloucester Fisherman as the evil force killing Sarah Michelle Gellar and Johnny Galecki (of 'Roseanne'). Seeing him stalk the likes of Jennifer Love Hewitt, Prinze and the aforementioned victims while decked out in rain slicker and hat couldn't help but make me giggle. It was probably the most ridiculous slasher flick since Cropsey the Groundskeeper stalked kids with his hedge clippers in THE BURNING.

I STILL KNOW... reunites Love Hewitt and Prinze (a pair as likely to win an Oscar as Liam Neeson and Justine Bateman in SATISFACTION!), as well as introducing us to new characters like "the black friend" played by the one-named Brandy (or is that Monica?), "the black friend's boyfriend," "the cute guy on campus who is probably the killer because this is a Kevin Williamson screenplay," and "the creepy inn-keeper guy" played by Jeffrey (RE-ANIMATOR, FROM BEYOND, CASTLE FREAK) Combs.

I'd love to comment more on the goings-on, but my body, having seen way too many of these dreadful things, went into a Quick Body Shutdown (QBS) and only roused me when "important plot points" popped up. In other words, very rarely. Thank god for those several shots of Maker's Mark.