After Hours Cinema | Buy at After Hours | Review by Sinferno
Old porno never dies, it just gets repackaged and sold in bulk form. Such is the story of the KINK-O-RAMA collection, a "new" compilation of old stag loops. Normally the stag loop or "smoker" is the bargain basement footage of the porno industry. Old, grainy and often with no audio whatsoever except for the perpetual "ratta tatta" of the 8mm projector, this footage alone could never impress a modern generation of sex film aficionados. But After Hours sought to make it new again, somehow relevant (if not irreverent) by having it narrated by 42nd Street Pete, a sleazy rain-coated man who somehow looks like a living representation of every single member of the band Steely Dan at once. Between features and to set up the next scene Pete is on scene to light a cigarette, puff a bong or just to describe the next scene with all the wit and wisdom of a man who has perhaps seen way too much of this stuff, and all the filthy slang language of a teenage boy talking about the reproductive process in a locker room among his peers. To be honest I can't really say what the narration adds to this grainy footage of 1970's era fornication, but at the same time I can see that this DVD would be far less fun without him.
The disk itself is broken up into two sections. The first involves the story within a story of a frigid couple named Cindy and John who have the strange fortune of going to see their psychologist (played by 70's era porn goddess Gloria Leonard). The kindly doctor advises the couple to watch the monitor and we, the viewer, see the exact clips that they do. With the action occasionally switching between the couple starting to get it on with their therapist and the mean-spirited grainy porno loops which seem to be barely consensual let alone therapeutic, John and Cindy work out their marital problems the old fashioned way, by banging their therapist ten ways from Sunday.
The second section involves two hours of assorted porno short features united by a common theme, and for once I am not talking about the sporadic narration of our narrator, Pete. Much as in the first hour the actual porno footage on this disk is beyond filthy; bondage, humiliation and degradation seem to be ever-present themes. Even after three hours of filthy, grainy, hairy, hygiene-optional sex there wasn't one moment of anything remotely resembling a human, much less loving, embrace in all of the action. At the start of every scene the women are already in some form of undress or bondage apparatus and it only seems to get worse and harder for them (if not on them) as the scene unfolds...
But fans of vintage stuff like this stuff for exactly that reason, and if you are one of those guys who like to see sex as something that is done to a woman instead of with them, well then this set is designed with you in mind. I feel like I should throw in a disclaimer here, advising viewers of this sort of porn to hide it from their wives and girlfriends, but something tells me this isn't an issue for must of the die hard fans of this particular hardcore sub-genre.
| Yucko/Neato Factor: 42nd Street Pete blathers on joylessly between distressed footage of attractive, ancient porn star starlets getting plowed by what appear to be unfortunate-looking, hairy men in sex that could never appear consensual. It was more than a blue movie, it was something old, some thing new, something borrowed... |
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| Production Values: The footage itself is beyond dirty, it's very grainy much of the time. Full color booklet with partial film synopsis was a much needed bit of gloss though. |
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| Realism: Aside from the stupid doctor patient subplot I am sure most of us have had more beautiful physically attractive sex than what goes on in this film. |
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| Value for Price: $27.99. Three hours for less than thirty dollars of pre-feminist porn. Okay, but next time I want to hear some music other than the crummy 1970's school projector in the background from the original source film. |
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| Plot: For people watching bad films for the wrong reasons, sometimes lack of quality becomes a quality into and of itself. |
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