Available from Synapse
Films | Review by D.A. Waltz
As
is common with many slasher films of the
80's the plot for this little gem is wafer
thin, but it's not the plot that keeps it
going and has made it a cult classic today.
The film opens with a young
woman being raped by a group of construction
workers. As far as rape scenes go this baby
has got nothing on I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE.
Hell, it's really got nothing on an explicit
episode of 'The Brady Bunch'. Pretty tame
stuff. Well, it doesn't take long before
a camouflage wearing, motor cycle helmeted
looney with a self contained nail gun happens
on the scene. And it's a good thing the
killer is wearing camouflage too. Seems
that if you're less than three feet from
the psycho you can't see them ...because
the killer's wearing camouflage!?!
So, it doesn't take long before
this dirt water town in Texas is overrun
with dead bodies. The local sheriff is real
good at driving around in his unmarked car
wearing a generic brown shirt and plastic
badge that changes from one side of his
shirt to the other for no apparent reason.
The local doctor is some Trans-Am driving
dude who thinks he's cool and they spend
the day running around looking for bodies.
And, according to the doc, all the bodies
have been laying around for hours. This
would be okay, but the film only shows the
passage of maybe two days tops. There aren't
enough hours in the day to manage what this
killer does. Not only does he have the ability
to kill people with non lethal shots from
a nail gun, but he can then make it seem
as if they've been dead for hours. One guy
he nails to a tree by the hands. I'm sorry,
but it would hurt like hell and you'd lose
some blood, but you could be hanging there
for days before you expire from exposure,
not blood loss. Maybe he dips the nails
in poison?
And as for the identity of
our killer. Well, that doesn't take a lot
of figuring out. You know the scene in many
films where they show some guy or gal and
they look really suspicious? Yeah, the old
red herring trick. They do this one time
in the film and it's the killer! Real suspense
going on there.
As much grief as I've been
giving the film you're probably waiting
for the other shoe to drop, right? Nope.
I remember watching this film on its initial
release. The video boom was in full swing
and slasher films stalked the land. It was
a golden age that we all enjoyed. Sure,
there were some awful pieces of crap oozing
from the wood work, but this film always
held a dear place in my heart. First, we
get the ultra reality of the fact that none
of these folks are actors. The lady, who
runs the local grocery store and has some
of the wildest dialogue in the movie, is
the director's grandma! No one in this film
went on to anything else. Well, except for
the hot blonde in the beginning of the film.
With a body like that you know she had to
have a career somewhere.
Second, we get the wildest
killer of all time. The motorcycle helmet
has tape over the visor to help hide the
identity of the killer. Sure, they could
have used a smoked plastic visor, but they
probably didn't have one and those damned
things cost money! The camouflage jumpsuit
is a nice added touch of bizarre to the
entire proceedings. Factor into that the
electronic, garbled voice that the killer
has plus his penchant for making truly funny
puns with each kill and we have a character
begging for a franchise. I'm amazed that
a sequel never came from this. Finally,
Terry Lofton gives us a competent film.
Sure there are plot holes you can run a
semi through and continuity is similar to
a grade school play, but they gave it their
all and you can see it on the screen.
The DVD gives us a pretty
clean print for what we have to work with.
The only extra is a 24 minute interview
with director Lofton. The man is personable
and lets us in on most of the secrets about
making the film. He also lets a few cats
out of the bag concerning questions people
have asked him over the years. My favorite?
Remember the scene I mentioned with his
grandma? Watch carefully as the scene ends
and she hands the young folks their box
of groceries. Under the box is her script
for the film. She even turns a page and
checks it and then looks at the camera and
smiles. Things like that crack me up and
add a certain homey feeling to the proceedings.
The folks at Synapse who released
the disc also include a hilarious little
essay entitled, '20 Things I Learned From
Watching The NAIL GUN MASSACRE. A funny
read and a nice little addition to the package.
NAIL GUN MASSACRE is a shining
example of what was lying on the video shelves
of yesteryear and still worth watching today.
