Mondo
Macabro | Buy
PANIC BEATS at Amazon.com | Review by Dan Taylor 
My
Naschyfication continues with this 1983
thriller that's a bit of an unofficial sequel
to the triumphant HORROR
RISES FROM THE TOMB, one of the first
Paul Naschy flicks to place me under its
spell.
I say "unofficial"
because while the character of Alaric de
Marnac plays a bit part in this twisted
little thriller, I don't want folks to get
the idea that PANIC BEATS is a demented,
kitchen sink horror flick on the same level.
Nope, what we get here is Naschy (who wrote,
directed and stars) satisfying his Hitchcockian
leanings, but without abandoning the nuttiness
and gore that makes his flicks such keepers.
After a strong opening featuring
a bloody, naked chick running from a mace-wielding
knight, some smoking skeletons and a bit
of heavy bass, BEATS brings us into the
present where we meet Paul (Naschy), a once
poor architect who married up and landed
the wealthy Genevieve (Julia Saly). With
Genevieve's "condition" worsening
by the day, Paul decides to take his wife
to his country estate – the last part
of the de Marnac estate – in the hopes
that some country air will do her good.
Upon arriving at the estate
and having already weathered an attack by
local thugs, Genevieve takes an immediate
dislike to Julie (Paquita Ondiviela, a former
Miss Universe pageant contestant) the nubile
niece of Mabile (Lola Gaos), the longtime
housekeeper at the estate. A month goes
by, Genevieve begins to regain her strength,
have feelings for Paul and even begins to
take a liking to the ambitious, orphaned
Julie.
With Paul – now resembling
a cross between John Belushi and Ed Asner
– in Paris on business, things start
to take a turn for the worse for Genevieve...
snakes in her bed, murderous knights at
her door, that kind of thing. Is Paul trying
to scare his wife to death? Does Julie have
designs on becoming the woman of the house?
Has Alaric truly returned from the grave
to seek his revenge? Or perhaps it's Maurice,
Julie's cheese-eating, Playboy reading drug
fiend boyfriend.
To divulge much more would
spoil the fun of PANIC BEATS. Rest assured
that there's plenty of blood and gore, topless
babes, Eurobush, mace-wielding knights,
double crosses, and excellent, unexpected
jolts to satisfy any Eurotrash fan.
