Paramount
Home Video | Review by Dan Taylor
Where's
Indiana Jones when you need him?
In the rush to plunder the
vaults for ready-made heroes, Hollywood
has set their sites on the 1930s and 40s.
Hell, there's plenty of material to work
with, from art deco sets and snappy clothes
to villains dripping with WWII evil.
THE ROCKETEER gave it a shot.
In the process, the filmmakers reinvented
Hollywood, scrubbed Dave Stevens' comic
clean, and turned Timothy Dalton into the
lamest villain since Snidely Whiplash. Hey,
at least we got to look at Jennifer Connolly.
Oh, I mean Jennifer Connolly's boobs.
THE SHADOW was strike two
for the pulp genre, offering Alec "I
need a good script in the worst way"
Baldwin, the shrieking Penelope Anne Miller
and a hopelessly hammy Tim Curry.
Lee Falk's cartoon hero THE
PHANTOM was next up for the star treatment,
and it fares slightly better than the aforementioned
efforts. And, I might only feel that way
because I'm a Phantom fan. Unfortunately,
most people reacted to the film's promos
and release with a lethargic, disinterested
"Who?"
Aimed at kids and families,
THE PHANTOM is like an innocuous retread
of the Indiana Jones saga. Lots of jungle
chases, jungle natives, evil pillagers,
power-hungry madmen and escapes from "certain
death" that are supposed to remind
us of cliffhanger serials. Note to Hollywood:
the average moviegoer is between 18 and
34. They think a "serial" means
Kaboom!
Unfortunately, the creators
of THE PHANTOM forgot a couple of key ingredients
from the Indiana Jones recipe...a hero (and
villains) that we have some emotion vested
in...and how about an interesting storyline
while you're at it? Billy Zane may have
a certain charm in the title role (and would
probably make a fine Batman), but he can't
carry this lame script beyond its limitations.
