Review by Dan Taylor
Longtime
readers, or really just anybody that's been
paying attention while they breezed around
the dantenet.com universe can quickly surmise
a couple things about yours truly: a) I
like food, booze and a good time; b) for
all the talk about great rock bands, The
Replacements are the only band that really
mattered; and, c) RE-ANIMATOR is the single
greatest film ever made.
So, when I stumbled on this
flick in a haze that only the unmistakable
combo of booze and pain killers can create,
I had to rent it. Directed by Brian Yuzna
(co-writer of RE-ANIMATOR and director of
the confusing, but fascinating, SOCIETY)
and Exec Produced/Co-Story-ed by the man,
Stuart Gordon, this was a must-see.
Arnold Vosloo (HARD TARGET,
DARKMAN 2 & 3) is an emergency room
surgeon who's jammin' his wife (Jillian
McWhirter) when they get hit with bright
lights and what feels like a "jolt
of electricity." Pretty soon he's telling
his shrink (a slumming Lindsay Crouse) that
he suspects alien abduction while his wife's
saying things like, "I figure conception
was seven weeks ago, just after my last
period."
Sci-fi fans and even the most
casual X-FILES viewer can easily predict
what happens next as wifey starts to have
trouble with her pregnancy as Vosloo edges
closer and closer to full-blown alien abduction
nut ... a leap he makes pretty fast for
a man of science. Along the way we're treated
to Wilford Brimley as an OB/GYN doc, alien
creature design by Screaming Mad George
and Brad Dourif as the stereotypical alien
abduction expert/kook.
(Note to the Producers: Putting
big ol' Elton John power glasses on Brad
Dourif does not make him look intellectual.
It just makes him look like a creepy guy
with big ol' Elton John power glasses.)
More like a FOX alien abduction
special with a little nudity thrown in,
PROGENY is a surprisingly lame effort considering
the folks that were behind the scenes. Oh,
and I could have gone my entire life without
seeing the Quaker Oats guy sitting between
a woman's legs holding a Q-Tip saying things
like "douches," "suppositories"
and "discharge."
