Leave
it up to Cannon... the only company capable
of creating a more tedious exercise in filmmaking
than NUMBER ONE WITH A BULLET starring Billy
Dee Williams and Robert Carradine. Fittingly,
Cannon was responsible for that mind-numbing
atrocity as well as the interminible THREE
KINDS OF HEAT. Ohhh... it's bad.
Bob "If you're lying
I'll be back" Ginty (EXTERMINATOR)
plays an InterPol agent who teams up with
a NY city cop (Victoria Barrett) and a Japanese
cop (Shakti, just Shakti... like Cher) to
catch a messenger for BLACK LION, an international
crime organization. Along the way, the three
(who dislike each other at the outset) form
a friendship, as if we ever doubted it.
The mind-bogglingly dull plotline
takes the three from NY to London, where
Ginty is "mysteriously" removed
from the case and replaced by some sawed-off
little Brit geek that Ginty could eat for
breakfast. The "thrilling" (YAWN!
Is it over yet?) conclusion takes place
at a fireworks warehouse in Manhattan where
the international collection of lintbrains
piece together what I had figured out 17
minutes into the flick.
Included for your rental price
is some mindlessly cheap action, degradingly
awful dialogue (Shakti pronounces "Black
Lion" as "Brack Ryon", providing
the opportunity for the Golan/Globus equivalent
of pure hilarity), and an assortment of
the most pointless reaction shots known
to mankind. If there is any justice in the
world, writer/director Leslie Stevens will
NEVER work in the industry again.
