In Movieline, model and actor Vincent Gallo (THE FUNERAL) vowed never to act again after appearing in this "derivative piece of shit" from writer/director/co-star/ex-Julia Roberts flame Kiefer Sutherland. Wow -- what a loss to the entertainment community! Does that include his annoying appearances in Calvin Klein and Gap commercials? How will Hollywood ever recover? To lose such a talent... [Editor's Note: Of course, we all know that Gallo was full of shit and released the self-everythinged BUFFALO 66 in 1998.]

How dare this greasy, James Dean-wannabe insult Kief like that! I mean, this is the highly original straight-to-video tale of a gang whose heist goes bad (RESERVOIR DOGS) forcing them on the run to find a more idyllic, safer haven for the leader and his pregnant girlfriend (TRUE ROMANCE). Along the way they hijack a couple in a motor home (FROM DUSK TILL DAWN), although the unstable member (DOGS again) wants to dispose of them despite the protestations of the deep undercover cop posing as a member of the gang (ah, DOGS once again). Of course, things comes to a head during a drug deal gone bad (TRUE ROMANCE). Throughout the film there are "clever" conversations anchored in popular culture, making for lots of whacky, light-hearted moments in between the mayhem.

Oh wait, it is a derivative piece of shit.

At least Sutherland could've broken the poseur Tarantino connection by ripping off some other flicks, or at least other genres. Maybe Gallo could've ridden around on a big purple motorcycle and called himself "The Kid." Wait! What if they were also on the lam from a tall man from another planet who runs a corpse-stealing ring out of a mortuary. I know! What if one of the gang members had been cryogenically frozen in the 1960s and talked like he was in a David Hemmings flick?

When will Hollywood realize that hanging around a movie set your entire life doesn't qualify you to burst into the writing and directing fields? If I was Kiefer Sutherland I'd work on perfecting my first line of work while choosing my projects a tad more carefully. That way maybe he could avoid another RENEGADES, THREE MUSKETEERS, FLATLINERS, LOST BOYS, FLASHBACK, CHICAGO JOE AND THE SHOWGIRL, YOUNG GUNS II, ARTICLE 99, THE COWBOY WAY...just tell me when to stop...TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME, BRIGHT LIGHTS, BIG CITY...