Remember the old days when Empire/Full Moon was content to rip-off other studios? Well, things must be pretty bad since Full Moonie Charles Band is letting Ted Nicolau all but remake his dismal SUBSPECIES series. Okay, I'll cut the series some slack -- the first one was as exciting as DORF ON VAMPIRES, but BLOODSTONE: SUBSPECIES 2 had a little more flair than Full Moon dreck like SEED PEOPLE, TRANCERS 4 or THE CREEPS.

With the viewing public not beating down Band's door for yet another installment of SUBSPECIES, Nicolau downshifts slightly with VAMPIRE JOURNALS, another tale that plunders the ubiquitous good vampire/bad vampire trend. Zach (David Gunn), you see, is a good vampire. We know this 'cause he's been trotting around Europe hackin' the heads off bad vampires while he battles his own urges to suck the blood of the living. Ash (Jonathan Morris), on the other hand, is more than happy to suck blood and run a casino. Why not? Eternal life and a gaming license -- sounds like a pretty righteous gig to me.

But leave it to a chick to ruin everything. Sofia (Kirsten Cerre), is a concert pianist who attracts the attention of music lover Ash. We know he's a music lover 'cause he pops up at concerts (before turning into a shadow) and models his "look" after a pasty, emaciated Michael Bolton. Lucky for him that seems to be pretty desireable in Eastern Europe. Zach wants to kill Ash while Ash wants to give Sofia eternal life (and himself eternal piano music in the process), blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

In the end it's just your typical by-the-numbers job from Nicolau/Full Moon. 1) Establish fragile framework. 2) Cue fog machine. 3) Dim the lights. 4) Roll ridiculous voice-over narration like "the air of malevolence dwarfed my senses," and "she reeked of evil."

If you ignore my warnings and rent this anyway, don't get your hopes up. Despite bared-titties and a vampire beheading in the first five minutes, VAMPIRE JOURNALS treads nothing but familiar ground in creating a monstrously boring vampire flick.