The Gabriels
Self-Titled
If Ned Flanders
had a band they would be The Gabriels. For
you heathens among our flock, Gabriel was
the angel who told Mary that she was going
to give birth to the savior, thus explaining
his role as the patron saint of broadcasters,
postal services, and Argentinian ambassadors.
(Seriously. Look
it up.) The album's single, "I'll
See You in the Rapture" refers to the
end times at which point all those that
have been saved will be taken into heaven.
The rest of us will be left here where we'll
be forced to listen to The Gabriels. BONUS...
apparently, The Gabriels liked the front
cover pose so much that it's replicated
on the back cover, but with yet another
outfit courtesy of the fine folks at Phoenix
Clothes.
30 California
Women
Kenny Price
This is another
one that ranks high on my Creepmeter. Kenny,
fresh off his second place finish at The
Fatty Arbuckles Lookalike Contest, grins
mischeviously at an unseen, off-camera cohort.
Though surrounded by six chicks that are
as close as their paycheck will warrant,
Kenny's glance seems to suggest something
that even I'm too classy to repeat here.
Captain
of the Starship: William Shatner LIVE!
William Shatner
On a recent
trip to visit my brother in Oklahoma we
wandered out to the local thrift and junk
stores. After stumbling into one smoky,
smelly joint where most everything was outrageously
overpriced I spied this two-record, Canadian
K-Tel set. I have yet to figure out what
Shatner, looking like a young Harvey Kietel,
is holding on the front cover. A vacuum
cleaner attachment? A camera tripod? Who
knows, but each time I see it I have to
remember that this man has actually won
multiple Emmys.
Jim Whittington
Remembers "He's Everything"
Jim Whittington
I don't have
anything against religion or religious people.
It's not my bag but if that's what gets
you through the day, more power to you.
I'm just always a bit suspicious of people
that are too religious. Hell, I'm suspicious
of people that are too anything. The cover
seems to suggest that Jim – looking
lost at the carnival in the top photo –
remembers where his bus is, but I'm not
sure what He with the capital H has to do
with that. Yet another religious LP that
features a cover of Kris Kristofferson's
"One Day at a Time."
To The Tables
Down at Mory's: A Collection of Songs for
Singing and Drinking
Lee Gotch's Ivy Barflies
When I get
drunk I sing "My Sharona," "Whip
It!" and theme to "Speed Racer."
There's either something wrong with me (possible)
or the folks on this record who get juiced
and belt out "Cuddle Up a Little Closer,"
"Alouette" and fourteen other
tunes guaranteed to get your ass kicked
at any of the
bars on this list. It should also be
noted that the cover photo has been printed
backwards. Artistic flair? Careless mistake?
Perhaps we shall never know.
Even
More Awful Covers
